The Scaffold - Part III

“But when one takes the scaffold down, the building must stand by itself.......”

Andres Segovia

In The Scaffold Part I, I shared the benefit of having a person that could serve as a scaffold during critical times of reconstruction. There may come a time when you need a human scaffold - a person that can help keep you steady as you rearchitect your life. If you view the need for objective emotional support as a burden or embarrassing, it may be difficult to seek and receive the help you give to others. When repairing or rearchitecting your life, you may need someone that will remind you to “Stay Focused” so that you don’t stall too long – or stop altogether.

In The Scaffold Part II, I shared how the scaffold and the architect/worker must understand and remain true to their roles in order to maximize the relationship without regrets. If we understand and respect the roles we can serve and appreciate each other, and ultimately celebrate the successful culmination of the journey together. That brings me to Part III, the final point.....

Scaffolds are temporary - not permanent.

Here are a few important considerations to help you understand why scaffolds are not meant to be permanent roles in your life:

• Scaffolds support the crew working on the renovation. When the work is done, a scaffold is no longer needed.

• Scaffolds detract from the beauty of a finished renovation so they come down when the work is done.

• Scaffolds are constructed along side what is being renovated. They may be tied to the structure during the process. But, when they are removed, the structure will not fall.

I encourage you to consider all three of these points very carefully. The goal should be to stand without the scaffold.

Yes, You Will Be Able to Stand

A structure will fall down if the foundation is removed. This is why you must only use your support as a scaffold – not your foundation for life. A life-long scaffold would mean an unhealthy dependency. Does this mean you can no longer have a relationship with the person? No. Dissolving the role of a scaffold does not require having no relationship with the person at all. It just means ending the role. You will hopefully continue to enjoy friendship. But your success criteria is to be able to stand on God’s strength and your own and live the life God always planned for you.

Even if one day that person is no longer in your life, you will still be able to stand stronger than before. Not on their strength but on yours. For you will have weathered the storm with support and can now use what you have become to offer strength to someone else. Perhaps even return the favor to a former scaffold that once held your hand.

Key Points from Part I, Part II and Part III

❖ Scaffolds don't build the structure. They support the workers.

❖ A scaffold can't steady you if it’s too weak to bear truth.

❖ A scaffold is not a means to escape what you must do.

❖ Scaffolds must come down.

Most of what your scaffold will offer is a listening ear. You will repeat things over and over. The right scaffold won’t interrupt you unless absolutely necessary. You will overcome obstacles on one level only to face them again on another. The scaffold will continue to support you like they aren’t experiencing déjà vu. Because your scaffold has a life with its own set of challenges, there will be days when you will need the scaffold at inopportune times. The scaffold will make sure you know how important you are – even if you have to wait while they address other priorities. Sometimes they are there to help you when they themselves are hurting. Sounds like strength from God when you need it most, doesn’t it? It is.

Prayer

My closing is my prayer that perhaps your scaffold, or you as the scaffold, will pray:

Lord, I can’t effectively support anyone without Your help, Your wisdom, and Your gift of discernment. You are the ultimate scaffold and true foundation. While my friend finds comfort in my support, let her see that we both are leaning and depending on You. I acknowledge that this is the whole point and my purpose as a scaffold. To leave this person I love leaning and depending on You – not me. For you are the One who is able to keep her from falling.Please, direct her path to the plans you have for her life. In Jesus’ name. Amen.