The Scaffold - Part II

Optimizing the Role of Your Scaffold

“When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable.”

Myles Munroe, Understanding the Purpose and Power of Women

Some people come into your life to help you with what you are trying to build. They are like a scaffold. They are there for a time to support you while you build. But they are not meant to stay. They must come down.

Are you in the difficult process of re-architecting your life? You are blessed if you have someone serving as a scaffold. Here are a couple of things you should keep in mind in order to optimize the relationship.

1. Ascend the Right Way

“Truth forever on the scaffold. Wrong forever on the throne.” James Russell Lowell, The Present Crisis

One of my closest friends was going through a major life change. Her love was important to me and I was not going to hurt her by not being there when she needed me the most. But I have to admit I was afraid that if I told her something she didn’t want to hear she might feel I didn’t support her or that I was judging her. Rather than talking to her about my concern, I decided that I just needed to be supportive no matter what. It’s the “no matter what” part that I had to come to grips with as a true scaffold. Truthfully, I feared God might tell me to say something to her that she wouldn't want to hear. I was afraid of losing my friend. I remember sitting and doing my morning meditation and somehow, very unintentionally, I found myself reading from Ezekiel 33:6

“But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet to warn the people and the sword comes and takes someone’s life, that person’s life will be taken because of their sin, but I will hold the watchman accountable for their blood.”

I can’t describe the conviction and reverence I felt. I had to let my dear friend know that under no circumstances would I not tell her something out of fear of her reaction to me. But, if I offered any advice at all I would make sure I was being led by the right inspiration. Thankfully, she trusted me to do just that and continued to rely on me to be her scaffold. I knew our relationship would not be hung by truth.

A good scaffold will remind you to ascend the right way. This is one place (possibly the only place) where the scaffold in your life serves as an advisor and not just a listener. Know this: advising is one of the hardest things a scaffold that loves you can do. Why? Because they want you to feel supported no matter what. That’s what scaffolds do. But a scaffold that doesn’t help you ascend the right way, even when it’s not comfortable for you, isn’t doing its job. ​

This is very important if you intend to optimize the relationship you have with your scaffold. Even if they are giving you advice you don’t want to hear at the moment, a scaffold that understands your core values won’t let you ignore important guiding principles. Doing so will only add hardship and regret. Whereas a scaffold will not ignore or compromise his or her own consciousness in order to support you, they won’t impose or immediately walk away if you don’t readily accept their advice. A scaffold will help you ascend safely by reminding you of the importance of ascending the right way.

2. Your Scaffold is Not Your Architect

“....... You are the architect and builder of your own life, fortune, destiny.”

Alfred A. Montapert

Scaffolds don’t make decisions for you. They support you as you execute the decisions you make. Your scaffold will help you extend your reach higher than you can alone. But, when all is said and done, YOU are the one that must have the vision and YOU must do the work. ​

Optimizing and not abusing the role of a scaffold is important to your ability to sustain progress on your own because their assignment is not meant to last forever. I never want to see the structure I support look nothing like progress after I’m gone - as though I had never been there. Nor do I want to see it fall. That would be very disappointing to me. You don’t want that either. Remember that your scaffold is not the architect or the worker. You are. Next time we’ll end with tips on how to remove your scaffold.